December 2009
35 posts
Dec 31st
Dec 29th
You can only type one word.
Where is your cell phone? pocket Your boyfriend/girlfriend? work Your hair? receding Work? tonight Your father? loving Your favorite thing? internet Your dream last night? forgotten Your favorite drink? G2 Your dream car? hummer? The room you’re in? office Your pet? hank Your fears? dying What do you want to be in 10 years? happy Where did you hang out last night? peoria What you’re...
Dec 29th
1,652 notes
Dec 29th
5 notes
HOW DO YOU FIND WILL SMITH WHEN HE'S LOST IN THE...
You look for the fresh prints (and you thought it would be racist!)
Dec 26th
45 notes
Dec 24th
63 notes
Dec 22nd
1 note
Dec 21st
2 notes
Dec 21st
40 notes
3 tags
Interesting night at the pharmacy
Drunk Customer: I need to pick up some scripts
Me: For...?
Customer: John Jones
Me: (Get scripts, ringing out customer)
Customer: Hey (gestures to his girlfriend)... you wanna see her tits? Show him your tits.
Customer's GF: Uhm.... no...
Customer: Come on... he's the pharmacist dude. He's taking care of us.. show him your tits. You wanna see her tits?
Me: Uhm.. (trying to think of a way to politely tell him "not right this second, not here in the pharmacy, not in front of the camera" without getting cursed at and accused of being gay) ... Well yeah I'd love to but...
Customer: (Interrupting me mid-sentence) Aright!! (Pulls down his girlfriend's tube-top, she pulls it back up a few seconds later, and they walk away)
Me: (As customer and GF walk away) Thanks, appreciate you comin' in!
Girlfriend: Yeah I BET you do.
Dec 20th
1 note
NY Killer Tripped on Baggy Pants, Plunged to Death →
If you’re gonna murder someone, wear appropriate clothing. (+1 for proper attire!)
Dec 20th
2 tags
“Porn starts get checked [for STDs] but you go to their site and get a virus,...”
– Random comment from a guy at work
Dec 19th
1 note
Today's oh Shit Moment
benjamindockter: It’s always an unnerving situation when you are in a car with someone and your not sure if they see the car stopped in front of you. You’re sitting there in the passenger seat as your friend is cruising you towards death and you’re thinking… “do they know that that car is stopped? should i say something? what if i do say something and look stupid? They have to see it. I’m...
Dec 19th
3 notes
1 tag
Dec 19th
3 tags
Compassion
Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural West Virginia on the opening day of deer season. They both spotted a large trophy class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer...
Dec 18th
3 tags
Dec 18th
4 tags
Dec 18th
Dec 17th
3 tags
Dec 16th
342 notes
3 tags
Anon Bestman (newlywedsontjob) on Twitter →
A best man rigs up the happy couple’s bed to tweet every time they’re having sex.
Dec 14th
4 tags
Dec 14th
2 tags
“i wish i could google “things to eat in my fridge” so i wouldn’t have to...”
– texts from last night
Dec 14th
28 notes
4 tags
Dec 13th
5 notes
4 tags
Dec 11th
1 note
7 tags
Dec 11th
2 tags
Dec 9th
2 tags
Dec 9th
4 notes
5 tags
Dec 8th
4 tags
Dec 8th
2 notes
1 tag
Dec 7th
4,269 notes
3 tags
Tips sought on burglary at Clear Lake Kmart →
Restricting the hunt to people who knew that K-Mart even carried jewelry (let alone $200,000 worth of it) should significantly narrow the pool of suspects.
Dec 7th
4 tags
WatchWatch
Rockin’ the cheer gut (via Mel)
Dec 5th
3 tags
WatchWatch
Surprise Kitty - CollegeHumor video
Dec 3rd
3 tags
Dec 3rd
6 tags
Dec 3rd
110 notes